no more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world

I'll tell them how I survive it. I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could be taken away. That's when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I've seen someone do. It's like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after more than twenty years.

But there are much worse games to play.

quick intro - beth, white mentally ill young queer ass hard femme idk what this gender shit is?? person

John is blinking S.O.S. in Morse code when he steps out onto the pool deck for the first time.

Three short blinks, three long blinks, three short blinks.  Standard hostage-training procedure in many military units.